You should never doubt. Doubt is this evil little seedling that plants itself in a moment of thought: that moment when reason and desire battle over who will win and who will submit. The battle has to take place in order to make a commitment to a decision. But beware that scavenger that preys on questions and kills courage before it can realize its potential.
Today I doubted myself. Really, for the last week or so I've been doubting myself. At home in Texas, where I always knew people, I never had a problem finding a job when I most needed it. I never had a problem finding someone to sit down with me at an interview or recommend me to someone known to be hiring. I had no idea how lucky I was. The job search here in New York has been the worst and most prolonged nightmare of my life. Frankly, from someone who frequently has violent nightmares involving blood and the death of close friends and family, that's saying something. Not only do I have limited financial resources to survive on, I only have a handful of contacts in the NYC metropolitan area. How dare I, with the hubris of a twenty-something in possession of a bright and shiny, new diploma, move across the country expecting someone to hand me a job offer on a platter saying, "Thank you, we have been waiting for a candidate just like you to graduate so.... blahdee blah blah" ya get it. That is obviously not what happened.
But really, a month here and I only have a part-time job that will barely cover food and transportation. I have been meaning to go to an agency to get a job but I kept thinking I had nothing to offer, that I just needed to start small and work my way up. But why not get a real job? With benefits and a 401k? (By the way, will someone explain to me what exactly that is? There really should be a course in college called Application and Job Offer Lingo 1301) But I doubted myself. So today, after a weekend of hellish sickness and self-loathing, I dragged myself out of bed, put on some make-up and faked doing something with my hair, threw on my favorite jeans and moccasins, and went to the agency. After one very short hour, I was sitting in a cubicle with an agent discussing my resume. He had ideas right off the top of his head and we got right to business putting in applications. I put out six applications, came back with two interviews, and all with the added recommendation of this guy Mike. I was thrilled.
Here's the catch. IF I get one of these jobs, I may not begin working for another week or two. IF I begin working that soon, I probably won't get paid until a week or two after that start date. So I went home discouraged and bewildered. How on earth did I find myself in this ridiculous city knowing practically no one with no job prospect in sight?
Here was my second doubt. I doubted the man for whom there are so many better words than boyfriend. The Italian man I met a few weeks ago? We've kept in contact and we've talked all day every day. He is one of the kindest and most intelligent people I have ever met. I could go on. But I doubted our relationship. I began to doubt if this was smart, if he was someone I really wanted to tie myself to, if it was worth feeling alone to be with someone I knew for a week? I began to doubt his intentions. I began to doubt my intentions. Not knowing how bad I really was, the poor guy signed onto Skype anyway.
The moment I saw him, I was a bawling wad of tears and mumbling. And can I just tell you, God put this man in my life. He did everything from offer comfort and support to offering monetary help to just trying to make me laugh by being his crazy self. I refused the help of course, but it was so nice knowing someone was on my side. I honestly couldn't tell you what we talked about for the next hour and a half because conversation is just so easy. We laughed and I finished crying and he reassured me that things happen in their own time. I will find a job when I'm meant to find one and I can't find one any sooner.
Given the six-hour time difference, Mr. Italiano (as he has been lovingly deemed by my family) had to go to sleep since he had work in the morning. So I went about my business, made dinner played with Daisy, then finally resigned myself to the fact that I needed to do laundry. Since we have to do laundry with quarters here, it's always a hunt to find enough quarters for both the wash and the dry (I need twelve, in case you were curious). With the worries of not having enough money to eat after I pay rent looming over my head, I begin to dig for quarters. I have ten quarters from my purse, so I decide to look in coat pockets. First pocket: empty. Second pocket: three bobby pins and a hair tie. Next coat, first pocket: three pennies. Second pocket: SCORE! SIX WHOLE dollars and the remaining two quarters. I just about cried. That is lunch tomorrow. Excited, I get my laundry together and head downstairs. As my mother taught me to do, I diligently check all the pockets of the clothes I am washing. Lo and behold? SCORE!! Ten dollar bill. Right there in my jeans pocket the whole time.
This was my third doubt: my God. I didn't trust him to take care of me which is why I cried, which is why I let my monkey chattering brain get to me. Sure it was just my absent-mindedness that gave me that sixteen dollars, not God, per se. But, since God obviously did not give me good budgeting skills, he gave me absent-mindedness so that I would accidentally provide for myself when I most need it.
Moral of the story? You don't have time for doubt. Doubt is crippling. Doubt is what makes a bad day worse. Second guess yourself, by all means. Make sure a decision is worth it. But when it comes down to it, don't let doubt take over. Fate has a funny way of getting what it wants whether you like it or not. Matthew 6:26 has never rung more true. Look it up if you don't know it. Don't doubt yourself. Don't doubt your relationships. And most importantly, don't doubt your God. If you don't believe in God, this is not the place to convince you. So don't doubt whatever belief it is you hold at the core of your being. It created you. It will take care of you. Let it be. And don't sweat the small stuff. It's small for a reason.
Monday, February 25, 2013
Sunday, February 24, 2013
The Ferry, The Rat, and The Boiler
Today, I took Daisy to the dog park in Battery Park City. To get there, I had to bundle me up (I've been sick but more about that later), bundle Daisy up, pack a bag with a bottle of water, dog poo baggies, etc., and-- the dreaded muzzle. Now our whole experience with the muzzle thus far had been one little day of experimentation where we went for a walk and I died laughing because Daisy was so darn pitiful. She would go up to any and everyone hoping someone would take pity and remove the dreaded muzzle. No such luck, but E for Effort!! So I took the muzzle in the bag, intending to try and get away with not putting it on her. We get to the ferry with about five minutes to boarding and the bomb labradors have a wild fit of rage at the new comer, barking and growling and lunging at one very terrified Daisy. Then the guard tells me we have to board on the lower level with the strollers, invalids, and bikes. So we find the stairs, walk around and find the lower entrance to the ferry. The guards out front make the usual comments (What a pretty dog! She is so big! etc.) in addition to informing me that she would require the muzzle. As I dig in the bag for the muzzle, they make small talk (How old is she? What breed is she?) and one funny guy informs me that he thinks they made a new rule-- owners need to have matching muzzles. I told him I didn't have one and begged for mercy. He said he'd give me a pass just for today. So, muzzle on and laughing, Daisy and I board the ferry.
Daisy does not like the ferry. It is loud and full of strange people and smells and no traction. She is quivering and whining and breathing faster than a mouse's heartbeat. I finally take her outside and she calms down a bit when she can see the water. She looks through the funny little portholes (Is that the right word for them?), watches the seagulls, and continues to whine but at least she is panting less. The guard told me if she was friendly I could take the muzzle off once I was actually on the ferry. Daisy has never seemed more relieved than the moment that dreaded muzzle slid off her snout. So then I discovered that as long as I don't try to sit down, she will be calm. As long as she is walking, she is fine. But the moment Mama wants a rest, Daisy has a panick attack. Ok. I can walk circles around a boat for thirty minutes. Sure. Bright side: She is becoming much more adept at meeting new people and not being afraid.
The dog park was fine, there was room for her to run but only one big dog for her to play with (in addition to half a dozen smaller dogs that frightened Daisy into hiding behind my legs.) Then the ferry ride back, much easier than the ferry ride over. I knew what to expect, but again, I couldn't sit down for long. I met a nice couple that pet her and loved on her, asked me all kinds of questions and suggested a few other dog parks to try. I tell you what, my dog is a trooper. From flying halfway across the country to learning how to live in Staten Island, to learning to get along with new people and go with whatever I throw at her, my dog is a trooper.
Oh and the same funny guard on the way back asked where my matching muzzle was. I kindly reminded him of the pass he gave me today. He then offered to buy me one for Christmas. I refrained from reminding him that Christmas is not for another ten months. I just laughed and Daisy and I headed for home.
-=-
I saw my first subway rat the other day. This thing was enormous!!! Its body had to be ten inches long and its tail a good foot. It was bigger than most purse dogs in Manhattan. The thing was disgusting. And braver than any rodent I've ever witnessed. This rat was just chillin' on the platform searching for food, not minding the throngs of people in the least.
It was funny to watch the reactions. The women were scared. The men didn't notice. The tourists took pictures. The natives just took him in stride, veering imperceptibly if at all around this gigantic mutated subway rat. I have never seen anything like it. Although, surprisingly enough, no one screamed. Not one screamer in the whole blasted subway. I admit, I was a bit disappointed.
-=-
My other newest experience is of being sick in a New York apartment building. We don't have central air or heat. We have window units and a boiler. It's nice not having to pay for heat and water and all, but really, the boiler has one temperature-- boiling. This is no exaggeration. I can walk around my apartment in a camisole and the shortest shorts I own and be sweating like an Olympian when it's negative-something degrees outside. The only way to turn down the heat? Open the windows. So it's become a skill of mine to adjust the window to just how much air I need in the house. The problem is, it's almost always raining, especially at night. So there is dry heat from radiators and hot pipes running through the different rooms and then there is cold, damp air coming through the cracks in the windows. Not so terrible when one is perfectly healthy. Throw a fever in the mix and you've got more temperatures in one room than emotions in six months worth of PMS.
Not only do I believe that having the window open at night is what caused a phlegm colony in my lungs in the first place, but it is impossible to keep them closed and stay at a reasonable level of hydration. I try desperately to drink enough water to combat the dehydration process but short of becoming a camel, I see no end. Heaven forbid it ever warms up outside because Lord help us if the outside temp is forty-five and they don't turn the heat off until it reaches fifty!
-=-
No word on the job front. I got the one little part-time job and it is stellar!! The people are so nice and it is good honest work. I don't mind it in the least. But I need more than twelve hours per week. I am going to a temp agency tomorrow just to see. Even if it is temp, it is better than nothing.
Thanks, y'all, for reading and I made some adjustments to the comments section so it should be easier. Let me know what you think!!
Daisy does not like the ferry. It is loud and full of strange people and smells and no traction. She is quivering and whining and breathing faster than a mouse's heartbeat. I finally take her outside and she calms down a bit when she can see the water. She looks through the funny little portholes (Is that the right word for them?), watches the seagulls, and continues to whine but at least she is panting less. The guard told me if she was friendly I could take the muzzle off once I was actually on the ferry. Daisy has never seemed more relieved than the moment that dreaded muzzle slid off her snout. So then I discovered that as long as I don't try to sit down, she will be calm. As long as she is walking, she is fine. But the moment Mama wants a rest, Daisy has a panick attack. Ok. I can walk circles around a boat for thirty minutes. Sure. Bright side: She is becoming much more adept at meeting new people and not being afraid.
The dog park was fine, there was room for her to run but only one big dog for her to play with (in addition to half a dozen smaller dogs that frightened Daisy into hiding behind my legs.) Then the ferry ride back, much easier than the ferry ride over. I knew what to expect, but again, I couldn't sit down for long. I met a nice couple that pet her and loved on her, asked me all kinds of questions and suggested a few other dog parks to try. I tell you what, my dog is a trooper. From flying halfway across the country to learning how to live in Staten Island, to learning to get along with new people and go with whatever I throw at her, my dog is a trooper.
Oh and the same funny guard on the way back asked where my matching muzzle was. I kindly reminded him of the pass he gave me today. He then offered to buy me one for Christmas. I refrained from reminding him that Christmas is not for another ten months. I just laughed and Daisy and I headed for home.
-=-
I saw my first subway rat the other day. This thing was enormous!!! Its body had to be ten inches long and its tail a good foot. It was bigger than most purse dogs in Manhattan. The thing was disgusting. And braver than any rodent I've ever witnessed. This rat was just chillin' on the platform searching for food, not minding the throngs of people in the least.
It was funny to watch the reactions. The women were scared. The men didn't notice. The tourists took pictures. The natives just took him in stride, veering imperceptibly if at all around this gigantic mutated subway rat. I have never seen anything like it. Although, surprisingly enough, no one screamed. Not one screamer in the whole blasted subway. I admit, I was a bit disappointed.
-=-
My other newest experience is of being sick in a New York apartment building. We don't have central air or heat. We have window units and a boiler. It's nice not having to pay for heat and water and all, but really, the boiler has one temperature-- boiling. This is no exaggeration. I can walk around my apartment in a camisole and the shortest shorts I own and be sweating like an Olympian when it's negative-something degrees outside. The only way to turn down the heat? Open the windows. So it's become a skill of mine to adjust the window to just how much air I need in the house. The problem is, it's almost always raining, especially at night. So there is dry heat from radiators and hot pipes running through the different rooms and then there is cold, damp air coming through the cracks in the windows. Not so terrible when one is perfectly healthy. Throw a fever in the mix and you've got more temperatures in one room than emotions in six months worth of PMS.
Not only do I believe that having the window open at night is what caused a phlegm colony in my lungs in the first place, but it is impossible to keep them closed and stay at a reasonable level of hydration. I try desperately to drink enough water to combat the dehydration process but short of becoming a camel, I see no end. Heaven forbid it ever warms up outside because Lord help us if the outside temp is forty-five and they don't turn the heat off until it reaches fifty!
-=-
No word on the job front. I got the one little part-time job and it is stellar!! The people are so nice and it is good honest work. I don't mind it in the least. But I need more than twelve hours per week. I am going to a temp agency tomorrow just to see. Even if it is temp, it is better than nothing.
Thanks, y'all, for reading and I made some adjustments to the comments section so it should be easier. Let me know what you think!!
Sunday, February 17, 2013
The Labradors' Secret and the Lost Borough
I finally figured out the secret to the labradors!! I went to pet one yesterday and I asked the man if they were training. He declined and told me they were bomb dogs. They use labradors because they don't scare the ferry-goers. Funny. And now we know!
I had two lessons with my teacher, Mignon, this week. One Friday, one Saturday. She charged me for neither but let me go to the store and get groceries, play with her dog and help with making lunch as payment. She has also offered me the use of her studio at the school after she is done for the day so that I can practice without disturbing neighbors and so that I will have a piano. She is just so nice and really takes care of me. I am finally in a vocal home!
Mignon doesn't settle for mediocre. She fixes everything as many times as needed until I can do it right each time. She also tells me all the time how pretty my voice is and I'm starting to believe it too. I am still struggling with jaw problems, but it is more from misplacement of vowels and my own listening than from any real issue. She is preparing me for competitions for this summer. My first application isn't due until March 15th by which time we will see if I am ready. She thinks I can be but that maybe I don't have the right rep. She wants to reign in my voice for a bit, sing some smaller things, and really work on my middle and lower octaves to get them to match my top. She lets me sing high notes, even encourages it. And she says that one day, La Traviata will be a perfect role for me!! La Traviata is my dream role so yayyy!!!!!!! I am so happy I have made this move. She has been everything I have expected and more!!
I start my new nanny job tomorrow. It is a trial basis since it is a bit of a commute and I haven't actually met the family yet. I have however spoken with the mother on the phone and she seems very nice and very understanding. This week is a bit funny, but eventually, I will nanny Tues/Thurs and work in the office Mon/Wed. That being said, even without extra babysitting hours, I should make enough to pay rent and have food to eat. If I can get a church job, I can then pay Mignon and the coaches and pianists with no trouble. Life is actually happening here in NYC! This is the dream!
I still speak with my Italian man every day. I like him more and more. He is smart and down to earth, even through the language barrier. We talk about everything. Politics, life here versus life there, music, religion, food, vacations, dreams, work. He asks about my day and actually listens!! He laughs at me and loves to make me life. It is almost a bonus too that he is in Italy because I can focus on getting settled here while still looking forward to coming home and Skyping with him at the end of the day. We also text a lot throughout the day: I am thinking of you, this reminded me of you, works sucks, this funny thing happened, yadda yadda. We both have good and bad days and we are able to comfort and support each other, even through the newness of this little relationship we have.
Daisy is doing great. I usually only leave once a day, sometimes for long periods. But she has not had one accident in this apartment!! Not even in the bed!! We go on walks, sometimes just around the block (about fifteen minutes) and sometimes to explore (much longer). Today, we went exploring up the hill. I have been here a month and I had never gone UP the hill! What I found was so surprising.
There is an entire neighborhood up the hill from where I am of HUGE houses and they are all different styles from all different time periods. There is even a little section that has that funny dark brown wood work on the outside and it looks like a tiny old German village, just right at the top of the hill. Inbetween a couple of the houses, there is this amazing view of the valley just behind. I went at dusk, so the sun was down but not all the light had gone just yet. There were beautiful shadows of pink and purple in the sky over the ocean in the distance and all the lights of the niehgborhood were on. What a view!! I can't imagine living in one of these houses and having this view every night.
I get Staten Island. Most New Yorkers hear that I live in SI and they say, "OH!" like it's some sin I have committed, or like I am some lower-class human with whom they couldn't communicate properly. What I have discovered is that most of those people haven't been here. They have no idea what the island is like, with its people, culture, and history. Sure, there is construction. There are houses that are empty, and there are places that are less pretty than others. But there is also history. There are these trees with huge trunks that have seen the times change and have seen multiple cultures pass through this little town. These hodge-podge neighborhoods consist of houses from different centuries and different cultural influences. It is a bit far from the city but it is loveable. The little diners are kept afloat by their regulars. The owners want to be on a first name basis with their customers. The inhabitants are nice here. They greet you on the road, with a little wave or a friendly hello. Not at all like Manhattan.
I know it's a little sinful, but I am falling in love with Staten Island. Maybe I can't personally change the entire reputation of Staten Island for all of New York. But maybe just for those with whom I come in contact, I can provide another side of the story, a first-hand encounter with the Lost Borough.
I had two lessons with my teacher, Mignon, this week. One Friday, one Saturday. She charged me for neither but let me go to the store and get groceries, play with her dog and help with making lunch as payment. She has also offered me the use of her studio at the school after she is done for the day so that I can practice without disturbing neighbors and so that I will have a piano. She is just so nice and really takes care of me. I am finally in a vocal home!
Mignon doesn't settle for mediocre. She fixes everything as many times as needed until I can do it right each time. She also tells me all the time how pretty my voice is and I'm starting to believe it too. I am still struggling with jaw problems, but it is more from misplacement of vowels and my own listening than from any real issue. She is preparing me for competitions for this summer. My first application isn't due until March 15th by which time we will see if I am ready. She thinks I can be but that maybe I don't have the right rep. She wants to reign in my voice for a bit, sing some smaller things, and really work on my middle and lower octaves to get them to match my top. She lets me sing high notes, even encourages it. And she says that one day, La Traviata will be a perfect role for me!! La Traviata is my dream role so yayyy!!!!!!! I am so happy I have made this move. She has been everything I have expected and more!!
I start my new nanny job tomorrow. It is a trial basis since it is a bit of a commute and I haven't actually met the family yet. I have however spoken with the mother on the phone and she seems very nice and very understanding. This week is a bit funny, but eventually, I will nanny Tues/Thurs and work in the office Mon/Wed. That being said, even without extra babysitting hours, I should make enough to pay rent and have food to eat. If I can get a church job, I can then pay Mignon and the coaches and pianists with no trouble. Life is actually happening here in NYC! This is the dream!
I still speak with my Italian man every day. I like him more and more. He is smart and down to earth, even through the language barrier. We talk about everything. Politics, life here versus life there, music, religion, food, vacations, dreams, work. He asks about my day and actually listens!! He laughs at me and loves to make me life. It is almost a bonus too that he is in Italy because I can focus on getting settled here while still looking forward to coming home and Skyping with him at the end of the day. We also text a lot throughout the day: I am thinking of you, this reminded me of you, works sucks, this funny thing happened, yadda yadda. We both have good and bad days and we are able to comfort and support each other, even through the newness of this little relationship we have.
Daisy is doing great. I usually only leave once a day, sometimes for long periods. But she has not had one accident in this apartment!! Not even in the bed!! We go on walks, sometimes just around the block (about fifteen minutes) and sometimes to explore (much longer). Today, we went exploring up the hill. I have been here a month and I had never gone UP the hill! What I found was so surprising.
There is an entire neighborhood up the hill from where I am of HUGE houses and they are all different styles from all different time periods. There is even a little section that has that funny dark brown wood work on the outside and it looks like a tiny old German village, just right at the top of the hill. Inbetween a couple of the houses, there is this amazing view of the valley just behind. I went at dusk, so the sun was down but not all the light had gone just yet. There were beautiful shadows of pink and purple in the sky over the ocean in the distance and all the lights of the niehgborhood were on. What a view!! I can't imagine living in one of these houses and having this view every night.
I get Staten Island. Most New Yorkers hear that I live in SI and they say, "OH!" like it's some sin I have committed, or like I am some lower-class human with whom they couldn't communicate properly. What I have discovered is that most of those people haven't been here. They have no idea what the island is like, with its people, culture, and history. Sure, there is construction. There are houses that are empty, and there are places that are less pretty than others. But there is also history. There are these trees with huge trunks that have seen the times change and have seen multiple cultures pass through this little town. These hodge-podge neighborhoods consist of houses from different centuries and different cultural influences. It is a bit far from the city but it is loveable. The little diners are kept afloat by their regulars. The owners want to be on a first name basis with their customers. The inhabitants are nice here. They greet you on the road, with a little wave or a friendly hello. Not at all like Manhattan.
I know it's a little sinful, but I am falling in love with Staten Island. Maybe I can't personally change the entire reputation of Staten Island for all of New York. But maybe just for those with whom I come in contact, I can provide another side of the story, a first-hand encounter with the Lost Borough.
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Everything is New
Well I started my job on Tuesday!! It is awesome. I am working for an IT solutions company that handles anything from printer systems to software bugs. I am the right hand assistant to the Vice President of Sales. His name is Joe. Joe is probably one of the nicest people I have ever met. He made me save his cell phone number in case I needed anything. And coincidence of coincidences: He lives on Staten Island, very close to where I do!! He is so helpful and explains everything. He wants to make sure I understand and feel comfortable and that I don't get overwhelmed. The other person I will be helping is Denise. She is so sweet!! She is very smart and very good at her job. She is very funny and we get along great! Victoria and Christine are in the cubicles closest to me and they are the chattiest Cathies I have ever met!! They chat and chat and they ask me questions. They work under Steve, who I believe is the president of the whole operation. Vinny is the third owner, and I haven't had much contact with him but both he and Steve welcomed me, offered me help if ever I couldn't get ahold of Joe for some reason.
The cool thing about the Three Bosses is that they began as the maintenance guys. They worked for a company back in the eighties that was going under, so rather than waiting to get fired, they decided to start their own business that was fair and efficient, cost-effective and reliable. These guys understand what it's like to be at the bottom and have figured it out together. They have been in business since 1987 and they are a rock-solid team. I am just so happy to be working in an environment that is so positive and believes in good business (not screwing people). They even have the same radio in the kitchen that they did when they first started the business. It is AWESOME!! It still has the cassette deck and everything. It's so funny, this little radio. So out of date and somehow, it's a neat little reminder of the three guys that decided to be their own bosses.
Since that job is only part-time, I am still looking for something else to pay the bills. I have spoken with a lady in Long Island who needs a nanny for three kids. We spoke on the phone just last night and I really like her. She seems really nice and very fair. The only catch is that it is a pretty long commute with a full day so we will see how that turns out.
I met a man last week who was here on business from Milan. He is the kindest, most thoughtful man I've ever met. He is funny with his friends, gentle with me, and already loves my dog. He even has two labradors of his own back in Italy!! It was this crazy whirlwind week of a new job, a new love interest, and new experiences. We went to Times Square and we went to dinner every night together with his Italian friends and colleagues. He even came to my place one evening, cooked pasta for me and made a chocolate fondue!! Most romantic week of my life. He is back in Italy now but we Skype every day and there is an app that lets us text for free from halfway across the world!! Technology is very very cool. We will see what happens but I am the most excited about this man than I've been about any man in a very long time!!
As most of you know, there was a blizzard here over the weekend. It wasn't nearly as bad as they said. We only got about eight inches of snow and the wind blew pretty hard around two in the morning. But what I found amazing, was the newness that emerged on the next morning. Not a cloud in the sky. The air was so clear, you could breathe in the freshness. The sun was so bright and everything was covered in a blanket of white. It was beautiful. The ferry was just gorgeous: to ride on the water and see the boats with snow, the houses with snow, the docks with snow.
I feel like my life has been like this storm. The week I moved here was so crazy. So many things happened and I didn't know what was going to happen. The blizzard of things that went wrong was the strongest I'd seen in my whole life. Yet somehow, everything worked out. I am finally in this calm stage where everything is as it should be: new, shiny, exciting, clear. I've got the hang of the trains and know how to time my travel. I know where to go to get decent but cheap food. And still, I discover new things every day. I am still fascinated by the people and the culture here. I am astounded by the sheer volume of people in this city and that most of them have homes, jobs, and friends. I have a new job I'm very excited about. I have a new beau who makes me extremely happy even from across an ocean. I have a new territory that is mine. This new life is amazing and I wouldn't change it for the world! I thank God for this every day. I am so blessed.
The cool thing about the Three Bosses is that they began as the maintenance guys. They worked for a company back in the eighties that was going under, so rather than waiting to get fired, they decided to start their own business that was fair and efficient, cost-effective and reliable. These guys understand what it's like to be at the bottom and have figured it out together. They have been in business since 1987 and they are a rock-solid team. I am just so happy to be working in an environment that is so positive and believes in good business (not screwing people). They even have the same radio in the kitchen that they did when they first started the business. It is AWESOME!! It still has the cassette deck and everything. It's so funny, this little radio. So out of date and somehow, it's a neat little reminder of the three guys that decided to be their own bosses.
Since that job is only part-time, I am still looking for something else to pay the bills. I have spoken with a lady in Long Island who needs a nanny for three kids. We spoke on the phone just last night and I really like her. She seems really nice and very fair. The only catch is that it is a pretty long commute with a full day so we will see how that turns out.
I met a man last week who was here on business from Milan. He is the kindest, most thoughtful man I've ever met. He is funny with his friends, gentle with me, and already loves my dog. He even has two labradors of his own back in Italy!! It was this crazy whirlwind week of a new job, a new love interest, and new experiences. We went to Times Square and we went to dinner every night together with his Italian friends and colleagues. He even came to my place one evening, cooked pasta for me and made a chocolate fondue!! Most romantic week of my life. He is back in Italy now but we Skype every day and there is an app that lets us text for free from halfway across the world!! Technology is very very cool. We will see what happens but I am the most excited about this man than I've been about any man in a very long time!!
As most of you know, there was a blizzard here over the weekend. It wasn't nearly as bad as they said. We only got about eight inches of snow and the wind blew pretty hard around two in the morning. But what I found amazing, was the newness that emerged on the next morning. Not a cloud in the sky. The air was so clear, you could breathe in the freshness. The sun was so bright and everything was covered in a blanket of white. It was beautiful. The ferry was just gorgeous: to ride on the water and see the boats with snow, the houses with snow, the docks with snow.
I feel like my life has been like this storm. The week I moved here was so crazy. So many things happened and I didn't know what was going to happen. The blizzard of things that went wrong was the strongest I'd seen in my whole life. Yet somehow, everything worked out. I am finally in this calm stage where everything is as it should be: new, shiny, exciting, clear. I've got the hang of the trains and know how to time my travel. I know where to go to get decent but cheap food. And still, I discover new things every day. I am still fascinated by the people and the culture here. I am astounded by the sheer volume of people in this city and that most of them have homes, jobs, and friends. I have a new job I'm very excited about. I have a new beau who makes me extremely happy even from across an ocean. I have a new territory that is mine. This new life is amazing and I wouldn't change it for the world! I thank God for this every day. I am so blessed.
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Zombies and Labradors
This is it guys. The proof you have needed. Zombies exist in New York City. I'm serious!
There is this breed of humanoid that doesn't seem quite right. They have this strange waddle that has no purpose, no rhyme. They simply sway to and fro with no thought to destination or hurry. Sometimes they have headphones, sometimes simply hoods. Sometimes they even walk with their eyes closed! Some of them fall asleep where they stand, others find a nice train car to huddle in. Some talk non-sense, some ask for money with compelling stories of the children and elderly. I have no idea if they eat other humans, or if they eat at all (although about half of them are quite large in size). But they are ever-present in the myriad throngs of New Yorkers, flocking from home to work and back. They are always there to slow down the crowd, add that particular stench to the subway or make one grateful for the home he can return to. Zombies are very real and not at all a figment of lore. It's fascinating to wonder where they go, where they come from, where their families are. Definitely something I have loved to ponder in my time on public transportation routes.
In serious contrast: Labradors. Cute teenaged labradors. Blonde, white, chocolate, jet black. They are all there and they stay in the ferry terminal. No joke. There are so many of these year old, maybe two year old labradors that just sit in the terminal with their handlers in uniform. They sniff nothing but are not allowed to play. I sincerely believe they are being desensitized to great crowds in order to be better at their jobs later. I went to pet one once. The handler wouldn't let me saying, "Then she won't work." But they are so darn cute I just can't resist!! I want to play with them all. Le sigh. One day I will ask and discover the purpose of these ridiculously adorable pooches chilling out in the Staten Island Ferry terminal.
I had my first lesson with Mignon Dunn on Tuesday. What an amazing woman. She mentioned repeatedly how I had a good voice and informed me that there was nothing seriously wrong with my technique. I just need some straightening out, as she says. She even wants me to start competing this summer! She called today and suggested I audition for some small roles, just to get on stage. We will do some readthroughs on Friday at my next lesson. She is so great. We warmed up and I'm not nearly as rusty as I thought I was. We did some exercises to loosen up my vocal chords and she agrees that I can begin to move toward more dramatic coloratura things. She says I could definitely do La Traviata (my dream role) and I could do Rigoletto and probably Mimi later on down the line. I am so excited that she still likes my voice and still ehars potential. I was so worried for a bit!!
I finally got a job!! It's only a part time so I am still hunting for anything else to pay the bills. But at least I have this! I will be working in an office on the fifteenth floor, my cubicle looks west and I see the Empire State Building with the sun making a grand exit behind it every day. I am so excited. My boss is very very nice. He seems like a decent, honest guy with a good head for business. He is particular, but kind. And it's a foot in the door. All I needed was this one break. Now I am searching for a church job and/or a synagogue job that pays.
I met a man last weekend. We have had a blast these last few days, talking and geting to know each other, doing touristy things together. He is so sweet to me and treats me like a princess. He is Italian and lives full-time in Milan but would love to spend more time in the states. It is crazy how life can change in an instant, in a week. Everything is looking up, my friends. Life is good and I am exactly where God wants me to be. That is enough.
There is this breed of humanoid that doesn't seem quite right. They have this strange waddle that has no purpose, no rhyme. They simply sway to and fro with no thought to destination or hurry. Sometimes they have headphones, sometimes simply hoods. Sometimes they even walk with their eyes closed! Some of them fall asleep where they stand, others find a nice train car to huddle in. Some talk non-sense, some ask for money with compelling stories of the children and elderly. I have no idea if they eat other humans, or if they eat at all (although about half of them are quite large in size). But they are ever-present in the myriad throngs of New Yorkers, flocking from home to work and back. They are always there to slow down the crowd, add that particular stench to the subway or make one grateful for the home he can return to. Zombies are very real and not at all a figment of lore. It's fascinating to wonder where they go, where they come from, where their families are. Definitely something I have loved to ponder in my time on public transportation routes.
In serious contrast: Labradors. Cute teenaged labradors. Blonde, white, chocolate, jet black. They are all there and they stay in the ferry terminal. No joke. There are so many of these year old, maybe two year old labradors that just sit in the terminal with their handlers in uniform. They sniff nothing but are not allowed to play. I sincerely believe they are being desensitized to great crowds in order to be better at their jobs later. I went to pet one once. The handler wouldn't let me saying, "Then she won't work." But they are so darn cute I just can't resist!! I want to play with them all. Le sigh. One day I will ask and discover the purpose of these ridiculously adorable pooches chilling out in the Staten Island Ferry terminal.
I had my first lesson with Mignon Dunn on Tuesday. What an amazing woman. She mentioned repeatedly how I had a good voice and informed me that there was nothing seriously wrong with my technique. I just need some straightening out, as she says. She even wants me to start competing this summer! She called today and suggested I audition for some small roles, just to get on stage. We will do some readthroughs on Friday at my next lesson. She is so great. We warmed up and I'm not nearly as rusty as I thought I was. We did some exercises to loosen up my vocal chords and she agrees that I can begin to move toward more dramatic coloratura things. She says I could definitely do La Traviata (my dream role) and I could do Rigoletto and probably Mimi later on down the line. I am so excited that she still likes my voice and still ehars potential. I was so worried for a bit!!
I finally got a job!! It's only a part time so I am still hunting for anything else to pay the bills. But at least I have this! I will be working in an office on the fifteenth floor, my cubicle looks west and I see the Empire State Building with the sun making a grand exit behind it every day. I am so excited. My boss is very very nice. He seems like a decent, honest guy with a good head for business. He is particular, but kind. And it's a foot in the door. All I needed was this one break. Now I am searching for a church job and/or a synagogue job that pays.
I met a man last weekend. We have had a blast these last few days, talking and geting to know each other, doing touristy things together. He is so sweet to me and treats me like a princess. He is Italian and lives full-time in Milan but would love to spend more time in the states. It is crazy how life can change in an instant, in a week. Everything is looking up, my friends. Life is good and I am exactly where God wants me to be. That is enough.
Saturday, February 2, 2013
The Met and Dinner with Friends
These last couple of days have been a blast! I went to the Met Opera for the first time on Thursday night. It was low key, we sat in the cheapest tickets in the nosebleed section (or as they call it: Family Circle). I had the great surprise of finding out that I just happened to buy tickets to a show starring the great Diana Damrau. She was gorgeous in such a gruesome play where there are no heroes. She is loveable and cute and has these heart-wrenchingly beautiful high notes that just soar. Her line is incredible and every note is so clear. She was flawless.
The show itself was just incredible. I saw Rigoletto but they sort of did it in a Roaring Twenties/Gangster/Casino type theme. Lots of neon lights lit the stage from the back ground as gorgeous women in cancan dancer costumes with exotic feather tails served food and did a fan dance for dashing men in coats-and-tails. It was all very glamorous to begin with and as we got to know the characters and their flaws, the scenery became more dank and seedy. There was even a stripper in the third act who had no top on!! What a shock!! Welcome to shows in the real world, I guess. It was a wonderful experience and I do hope to have much better seats in the future!!
-=-
Yesterday, I went to dinner with my friend Rachel and her two roommates. We shared a pitcher of Sangria and some cheese and bread and salad. It was so good to be out with a group. We just chatted about work and boys, relationships, dogs, life in New York. It felt really great. I finally feel as if Iam not so lonely in this city. I have also managed to get in contact with a few people from my past (camps, high school, young artist programs, etc.) so it's been nice.
-=-
It is beautiful and sunny on Staten Island today. It feels warm even if it's ony twenty-two degrees. I have dinner plans in the city tonight and plan to do some laundry today. I am very excited about these dinner plans ;)
-=-
My lesson with my teacher got moved again this time to Monday at 2. Please be praying we find a time that works for both of us. Also pray that I find a job very very soon because it is very expensive to live here and I may not have enough to eat or pay rent in a couple of months. If anyone has suggestions for jobs, please email me or comment here. Much appreciated!!
The show itself was just incredible. I saw Rigoletto but they sort of did it in a Roaring Twenties/Gangster/Casino type theme. Lots of neon lights lit the stage from the back ground as gorgeous women in cancan dancer costumes with exotic feather tails served food and did a fan dance for dashing men in coats-and-tails. It was all very glamorous to begin with and as we got to know the characters and their flaws, the scenery became more dank and seedy. There was even a stripper in the third act who had no top on!! What a shock!! Welcome to shows in the real world, I guess. It was a wonderful experience and I do hope to have much better seats in the future!!
-=-
Yesterday, I went to dinner with my friend Rachel and her two roommates. We shared a pitcher of Sangria and some cheese and bread and salad. It was so good to be out with a group. We just chatted about work and boys, relationships, dogs, life in New York. It felt really great. I finally feel as if Iam not so lonely in this city. I have also managed to get in contact with a few people from my past (camps, high school, young artist programs, etc.) so it's been nice.
-=-
It is beautiful and sunny on Staten Island today. It feels warm even if it's ony twenty-two degrees. I have dinner plans in the city tonight and plan to do some laundry today. I am very excited about these dinner plans ;)
-=-
My lesson with my teacher got moved again this time to Monday at 2. Please be praying we find a time that works for both of us. Also pray that I find a job very very soon because it is very expensive to live here and I may not have enough to eat or pay rent in a couple of months. If anyone has suggestions for jobs, please email me or comment here. Much appreciated!!
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