I have been in a big girl, corporate, 8-5 job for about four and a half months. I have also been in a brand new city, cultivating a brand new life and getting hit in the face with reality outside of the educational world for about nine months. There are some things I've learned that I sorely wish someone would have told me, maybe to not to stop it from happening, but if only to be prepared for it. This is what I have learned.
--There is no such thing as passing with a 70% in the real world. All of those years in school where the idea is to try your best and aim for the A but if you make a B it's still great and as long as you pass, you're doing well? Crap. Complete and utter crap. If you make mistakes in the real world, you cost your company money, you cost customers/clients money, you get fined if you get audited. There is a world of chaos just waiting to devour you if you do not do one hundred percent CORRECT work, one hundred percent of the time.
--Waking up early, enjoying an hour of silence and peace while the world is still sleeping is GLORIOUS. Anyone who knows me knows I abhor waking up early. I am a Godzilla/Sleeping-Beauty-Dragon-Queen mutant if I am woken up even ten minutes before I have to be. But there are days when, as an adult with sleeping issues, I find myself lying awake at 5 in the morning, wondering why I am up at the ever dreaded hour before dawn. Some of these days, I drag my butt out of bed, make some coffee, and head out to my patio. I get a smidgen of a moment of silence in my day to do what I want. Nothing has gone disastrous yet and I get this little tingle behind my face (is that a smile in the morning??) And the world is my oyster, for one shallow little hour in the morning. Sometimes I read a book, the Bible, the news; sometimes I sing to myself. But that can make the difference between a regular old day and a treasure I finally have the time and energy to discover.
--Change purses often. Or backpacks or sports bags. (Or, God forbid, that man-purse satchel you'd die if anyone knew you had.) Not just for fashion or function, but because it makes you decide what is really important to have with you. Sure it's nice to keep lotion, a nail file, deodorant and body spray in case you forget, a pocket knife, a granola bar, extra make up in case you go somewhere, a comb, flats in case your shoes hurt, a small animal in case you get lonely and a brick in case you run into that jerk from work on the street. But really, you don't NEED these things. You will survive the day without your creature comforts. Life will go on. I present to you the man chant: Phone, keys, wallet, and watch. (Most don't even really need the watch anymore, but go with it anyway.) Chant to yourself before you leave the house: Phone, keys, wallet, and watch. You'll be prepared to handle anything disastrous. Say it, everybody!! Phone, keys, wallet, and watch. I learned this from some guy friend of mine (possibly an ex? Who remembers?) forever ago and it keeps things in perspective. Not only is this all you really need, but it's all that really matters. *Bonus!* You can also do a preemptive strike on the mountain of receipts, business cards, bobby pins, spare change, lint from last year, the gum you'll never actually chew, and the book you forgot you were reading halfway through. Imagine the possibilities!
Which brings me to my last bit of advice:
--Keep things in perspective. I'm currently reading a book that was authored by a man with locked in syndrome. (The Diving Bell and the Butterfly by Jean-Dominique Bauby. Buy it, you really won't be sorry). I say authored because the man has full use of his mind but his body is completely motionless. Except for his left eye. Maybe you have a few aches and pains and maybe your life isn't everything you wanted it to be. But life's a journey, not a destination. Take it as it comes and never once believe that you're not enough. Money will always come when it's needed and food will always happen. Quit worrying about all the crap you have no control over. At the end of the day, everything works out the way it's supposed to and if it's not meant to be, it won't. If it is, it will.
It's all about balance. I guess that's really the theme here. Balance the urgency with which you perform a task with your desire to do it well and correctly. Balance your busy time with your quiet time. Balance your expectations of yourself and others with reality. I will be the first to admit I suck at remembering this quite frequently but the moments that I do, I give myself a silent, happy little high five.
And that's enough :)
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Saturday, October 5, 2013
Definitely NOT a Christian.
Hello all! Long time no see!
It's been six months since my last post in April and so much has changed. I finally quit my job at the restaurant; it just got to be too much. My soul was slowly dying under the strain of trying to please people and work with people who would never be pleased, no matter how hard I tried. I also moved away from my beautiful apartment and the awful/delusional roommate to a much bigger apartment with an amazing roommate-- in New Jersey.
Jersey was definitely not my first choice but I have a basement for storage, a back yard with a small patio and enough room for Daisy to run just a little bit. I have a huge room with a normal sized closet and a roommate who is fast becoming a dear friend of mine. Despite the changes each of us is experiencing, we have made a home for ourselves and our animals. My new roommate has two hilarious cats (with personalities rivaling the size of Texas) and a very special, lamb-like jack russell who, bless his little heart, never gives up trying to win a game of tug of war with an opponent five times his weight.
I began my new 40-hour a week, big girl office job in the beginning of June. It was very difficult and very stressful in the beginning because I was not prepared to be thrown into a job I had no idea how to do. I made a lot of mistakes, discovered I had a major nutritional imbalance (which highly affected the quality of work I was doing), took a crash course in how business is done in the Big Apple, but ultimately discovered that I have indeed made it in the city. I am fully supporting myself and my dog. My rent is paid every month. I eat multiple times a day (way more than I was eating in college). I even manage to go shopping without having to resort to Ramen for a week. Life is settling down and it's lovely.
The downside to all of this is that I had to put my music away for a few months. I was in survival mode and couldn't handle something extra. I even considered for some time that I no longer wanted to be a singer, that I would rather move home to Texas, get a similar job, find a husband and have a family. But that's not what I've been called to do. God gave me this gift and whether I like it or not, whether it's a normal life or not, I have to honor it and utilize it. I never thought it was a coincidence that the word they use in the biblical parable translates to "talent" in English. That's one of those mysterious but ultimately fascinating things God does, just because he can.
This brings me to why I felt compelled to write a blog today: Christianity in the dating world.
I, as a mid-twenties single woman, have been dating for some time. Sometimes seriously, sometimes just for fun. I am also trying to make friends in this weirdo city where there are millions of people but no one seems to be capable ofspeaking to one another on a crowded bus. In meeting the amount of new people here that I have, I have noticed this very odd thing. People as a general rule don't claim Christianity here. (That is to say, there are some brilliantly brave individuals who shine and fully declare themselves, the world be damned. I salute you, friends.) The majority of people I have met consider themselves atheistic or agnostic. They are definitely NOT Christians. But upon my asking questions (because I am a Christian) I have noticed some really strange trends:
1. They really do believe in God, they just don't practice "religion." By this I mean, maybe they "talk" to their version of God, but they don't pray... What? Isn't that all prayer is? Speaking to an unseen God? Meditating on what the "Universe" has to tell you? Finding answers from somewhere other than a book, a shrink, or a mentor? There is this stigma around "prayer" that you have to be kneeling or fold your hands, or maybe it has to have a certain format. "Dear God/Heavenly Father, thank you for this day. [insert personalized request here] Bless our troops, keep them safe/Bless this food, that it may nourish our bodies. [prayer for the sick/homeless/less fortunate] In Christ's name, amen." But what if your prayer is simply, "I need help today. I can't do it alone." I find it fascinating that people who are "definitely not Christian" still ask for help from whatever unseen "God" they talk to.
2. They really do believe in God (maybe even admit to praying, *gasp*) but they refuse to go to church. "The church is corrupt" "I just don't have time" "I can't stand the hypocrisy" When did church become a punishment? When did church become an only Sunday morning deal? Why do we not believe the scripture that says, "When any two are gathered in my name, I am there." ?? It's so sad to me that going to church means you have to wear a dress or a suit, carry a Bible, act like your life is perfect, and then go home like nothing has changed.
3. They believe in God (or a higher power. Sure, ok, if saying higher power makes you feel better...) but they are jaded. "God" has never helped them. "God" doesn't do anything. "God" lets bad things happen. "God" ignores the hungry. I'm sorry, but if you see hungry/homeless people and they are alive, they are finding food. It may not be the gourmet, pre-packaged, microwaveable crap you eat; but they are in fact being fed (quite frequently they are overweight, which truly baffles me). Humans die after no food or water for three days. They may not shower with hot water every morning like you, but maybe they like being dirty. Maybe that helps them get more handouts from people who feel badly that they are "not eating." God feeds wild animals. God provides shelter. It might not be a penthouse quite, but no one ever died from getting a little wet in the rain. If you have clothes on your back, a bed to sleep in, and someone who cares whether you are happy, you are richly blessed. But why then is it crazy to call that God? Why not give credit where credit is due?
The theme here: They really do believe in God. But they are definitely NOT a Christian. ...WHAT?
The funny thing is, I have not spoken to one person who considers himself an "atheist" who does not at least believe in a "higher power." It's laughable really. You say you don't like the church for hypocrisy, yet you build your personal identity around not believing; but you still believe in something. What? In what caricatured cartoon would this make sense??? What happened to confidence? Standing up for who you are? Believe in something or don't. Be hot or cold, don't be lukewarm, wishy washy, namby pamby. No one likes a pansy.
It's so sad that we live in a world where believing in something is so bad.
So this is my rant for today. I hope I'm not the only one who's noticed this. But maybe one person who reads this blog will come out of their religious closet and say, "I am a Christian."
It's been six months since my last post in April and so much has changed. I finally quit my job at the restaurant; it just got to be too much. My soul was slowly dying under the strain of trying to please people and work with people who would never be pleased, no matter how hard I tried. I also moved away from my beautiful apartment and the awful/delusional roommate to a much bigger apartment with an amazing roommate-- in New Jersey.
Jersey was definitely not my first choice but I have a basement for storage, a back yard with a small patio and enough room for Daisy to run just a little bit. I have a huge room with a normal sized closet and a roommate who is fast becoming a dear friend of mine. Despite the changes each of us is experiencing, we have made a home for ourselves and our animals. My new roommate has two hilarious cats (with personalities rivaling the size of Texas) and a very special, lamb-like jack russell who, bless his little heart, never gives up trying to win a game of tug of war with an opponent five times his weight.
I began my new 40-hour a week, big girl office job in the beginning of June. It was very difficult and very stressful in the beginning because I was not prepared to be thrown into a job I had no idea how to do. I made a lot of mistakes, discovered I had a major nutritional imbalance (which highly affected the quality of work I was doing), took a crash course in how business is done in the Big Apple, but ultimately discovered that I have indeed made it in the city. I am fully supporting myself and my dog. My rent is paid every month. I eat multiple times a day (way more than I was eating in college). I even manage to go shopping without having to resort to Ramen for a week. Life is settling down and it's lovely.
The downside to all of this is that I had to put my music away for a few months. I was in survival mode and couldn't handle something extra. I even considered for some time that I no longer wanted to be a singer, that I would rather move home to Texas, get a similar job, find a husband and have a family. But that's not what I've been called to do. God gave me this gift and whether I like it or not, whether it's a normal life or not, I have to honor it and utilize it. I never thought it was a coincidence that the word they use in the biblical parable translates to "talent" in English. That's one of those mysterious but ultimately fascinating things God does, just because he can.
This brings me to why I felt compelled to write a blog today: Christianity in the dating world.
I, as a mid-twenties single woman, have been dating for some time. Sometimes seriously, sometimes just for fun. I am also trying to make friends in this weirdo city where there are millions of people but no one seems to be capable ofspeaking to one another on a crowded bus. In meeting the amount of new people here that I have, I have noticed this very odd thing. People as a general rule don't claim Christianity here. (That is to say, there are some brilliantly brave individuals who shine and fully declare themselves, the world be damned. I salute you, friends.) The majority of people I have met consider themselves atheistic or agnostic. They are definitely NOT Christians. But upon my asking questions (because I am a Christian) I have noticed some really strange trends:
1. They really do believe in God, they just don't practice "religion." By this I mean, maybe they "talk" to their version of God, but they don't pray... What? Isn't that all prayer is? Speaking to an unseen God? Meditating on what the "Universe" has to tell you? Finding answers from somewhere other than a book, a shrink, or a mentor? There is this stigma around "prayer" that you have to be kneeling or fold your hands, or maybe it has to have a certain format. "Dear God/Heavenly Father, thank you for this day. [insert personalized request here] Bless our troops, keep them safe/Bless this food, that it may nourish our bodies. [prayer for the sick/homeless/less fortunate] In Christ's name, amen." But what if your prayer is simply, "I need help today. I can't do it alone." I find it fascinating that people who are "definitely not Christian" still ask for help from whatever unseen "God" they talk to.
2. They really do believe in God (maybe even admit to praying, *gasp*) but they refuse to go to church. "The church is corrupt" "I just don't have time" "I can't stand the hypocrisy" When did church become a punishment? When did church become an only Sunday morning deal? Why do we not believe the scripture that says, "When any two are gathered in my name, I am there." ?? It's so sad to me that going to church means you have to wear a dress or a suit, carry a Bible, act like your life is perfect, and then go home like nothing has changed.
3. They believe in God (or a higher power. Sure, ok, if saying higher power makes you feel better...) but they are jaded. "God" has never helped them. "God" doesn't do anything. "God" lets bad things happen. "God" ignores the hungry. I'm sorry, but if you see hungry/homeless people and they are alive, they are finding food. It may not be the gourmet, pre-packaged, microwaveable crap you eat; but they are in fact being fed (quite frequently they are overweight, which truly baffles me). Humans die after no food or water for three days. They may not shower with hot water every morning like you, but maybe they like being dirty. Maybe that helps them get more handouts from people who feel badly that they are "not eating." God feeds wild animals. God provides shelter. It might not be a penthouse quite, but no one ever died from getting a little wet in the rain. If you have clothes on your back, a bed to sleep in, and someone who cares whether you are happy, you are richly blessed. But why then is it crazy to call that God? Why not give credit where credit is due?
The theme here: They really do believe in God. But they are definitely NOT a Christian. ...WHAT?
The funny thing is, I have not spoken to one person who considers himself an "atheist" who does not at least believe in a "higher power." It's laughable really. You say you don't like the church for hypocrisy, yet you build your personal identity around not believing; but you still believe in something. What? In what caricatured cartoon would this make sense??? What happened to confidence? Standing up for who you are? Believe in something or don't. Be hot or cold, don't be lukewarm, wishy washy, namby pamby. No one likes a pansy.
It's so sad that we live in a world where believing in something is so bad.
So this is my rant for today. I hope I'm not the only one who's noticed this. But maybe one person who reads this blog will come out of their religious closet and say, "I am a Christian."
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